Florilegium Suburbanum

Uncle Buzz's Movie Review Corner

Seeing you all talk about movies made me want to talk about movies.  I do not think that The Wife and I have been out of the house for years (OK, I think once in the last six months.  Really working on that relationship, aren't we?), much less to see a movie.  So we are a few months behind.

In the last month or so, we saw Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler.  I can unequivocably say I liked The Wrestler much better.  I should also point out that I saw the Wrestler BEFORE Ben's current obsession with professional wrestling, so the hours of WWE that we now watch each week did not influence my viewing.

Slumdog was a good movie.  But it was a fairy tale. Hey, it was nice that the kid ended up with the girl.  The Wrestler was so much more real and relatable.  The did a great job showing a guy who wasn't completely actually doomed by his choices, but turned out to not have the ability to move beyond them.  It was such a realistic, sad picture.  I am sure the movie will stay with me much longer.

I also took Ben to see Transformers II this weekend.  {Note:  as I'm writing this, Lewis Black's voice is going through my head.  I think it makes more sense if you imaging him saying it.]  That was possibly the biggest piece of crap I have ever sat through.  I would have been less insulted by Michael Bay if he had stuck his dick in my coffee cup.  There was so much cheese and sex in the movie, it was like Bay was saying "Hey, watch what I can make these little fuckers sit through."  I mean they had a robot humping Megan Fox's leg.  For like half a minute.  The big Decepticon robot had giant, wrecking ball nuts (made of actual wrecking balls).  And none of these things were little slick cuts, that you had to watch closely to catch.  No, the characters pointed them out, just to make sure you didn't miss the poke in the eye.  Sure, it was a PG-13 movie.  But it didn't have to be so fucking annoying about it.

If I could get away with it, I'd show at the time you actually specified

Attention idiots who send me meeting notes:  "Eastern Standard Time" is not just a fancy way of saying "time on the East Coast."  It's a real thing that's really different from "Eastern Daylight Time," which is what it is right now.  "Eastern" or "ET" will suffice, if it's too hard for you to understand calendars.

Notes from Napa

Clearly it's vacation season here at FS. While I'm not sure I have the wherewithal for a full trip report, here are some observations and other random thoughts:

• The food is fan-f-ing-tastic there. We hit a wide variety of food experiences: the Ox Bow market to get picnic fixings to eat at Clos du Val's picnic area (amazing cheese counter at Ox Bow); Taylor's Automatic Refresher for the biggest, juiciest burgers and thickest shakes I've ever had; Bouchon for a foodie meal (cripsy pork belly, cheese course, chocolate mousse); Mustards for a wonderful late afternoon lunch (swordfish tostada, some sort of warm chocolate desert, which either is escaping me or I was too loopy to actually remember); Tra Vigne for a relaxed meal on the patio (rabbit ragu over house-made pappardelle). We also did the just snacks for dinner thing. And what really struck me was one night when we were too tired to do anything else, we walked across the street to some chainy Mexican joint (Compadres Bar and Grill) and ended up having a fantastic meal and kick ass margarita (pulled pork on an avocado with cheese and fixins).
• Wine tasting is a racket. I spent ... um ... way too much money on wine. (Let's just say it's a good thing that bonuses were handed out in 2008.) They get you a little tipsy on the tasting, and the wine is good, and there's a fair amount of social pressure to buy. And the next thing you know, the girl who usually thinks $15 is a correct price for a bottle of wine, is dropping some serious coin. The only things that saved me: a. Pa. has shitty laws and we could not ship back to the house from the wineries. Thank God! Or else there may be cases of wine here right now. b. I did find a place to ship and had one (just 1!) case box. So by the time we hit tasting day three I had mostly filled it up and did not buy the reserve wine at Stags Leap -- even though I wanted to. 
• By far, our favorite place was Pride. Amazing views. Amazing wine. Amazing service. Cave tour. Barrel tasting. 
• Rubicon is no longer the  shrine to the Coppola family that it once was. Almost all the movie stuff has been removed. Frankly, I think I liked it better that way. The focus is pretty squarely on the wine and the history of the estate. Both of which I appreciated. Especially their Cask cab and 2-source Zin!
• Other good spots, imo: Cakebread, Stag's Leap, Clos du Val. I liked the wine at Grgich, but didn't think much about the experience.  
• While I'm not a huge sparkling fan, there's something to be said about the tasting at Mumm, mostly because you sit on the patio and someone waits on you. The sitting down part was much needed. Also the pours were huge (three, 4-oz pours). 
• Aside from wine tasting, we also drove to the coast (first time seeing the Pacific for me!), walked through the redwood forest, played cards and spent two days in San Fran.
• After weeks of listening to FS say "Welcome to the Rock!" in his best Sean Connery voice (which is pretty darn good), he did not say it one time when we actually toured Alcatraz on principle.
• It is a pretty safe bet that the weekend leading in to Pride week, there is no need to point out cute guys on the street.  
• JR and I were in Ghirardelli Square when news of MJ's death hit. It's fascinating to watch as people get txt msgs, check their BBs and generally share news with one another.  
• FS and I saw David Byrne in the airport on the way home. It really was all I could do not to make the little "same as it ever was" arm motion to him. I'm pretty sure FS is the only person there who recognized him.    

So, all in all, a successful trip. I would definitely go back. Both to wine country (although maybe hit some of Sonoma next time) and to San Francisco (would love more time to explore the neighborhoods). 

The Hangover

I like Ed Helms, but it's very hard not to think of him as Andy Bernard at this point.  [B+]

Sorry folks, park's closed. The moose out front should have told you.

We just did family vacation at Disney.  I know all 5 people who read here have been looking forward to reading 3,000 words worth of poorly edited recap.  On the bright side, since it was a family trip, there will probably be many fewer dick jokes.  [Note – after my first draft, there are nearly 3,000 words, very few jokes.  I am starting to get hazy on the details, and I want to publish this before I leave.  So it might not be up to my normal Rainman writing standards.  You have been warned.  I’ll through some pictures up on Facebook someday.]

The Basics:

Just the four of us – The Wife, Ben, Caroline and your narrator.  The kids are almost 8 and 6, so we figured this would be right in the Disney wheelhouse.  I think we were correct about that.  The kids had a great time.  The adults did, too, but that was mostly because of enjoying the kids.  Without meaning offense to anyone, I think it is important to have some vacation time with just the kids.  We all take vacations with the extended family or friends or whatever.  Believe me, I enjoy them more than most people.  But having just parents and kids sharing a trip was special.  Like anything in life, sometimes you need to see things from different directions to appreciate the difference. 

We did a land and sea package.  Five days in the park, three nights on a boat.  If Disney and cruises are something you might be interested in, and you have the financial wherewithal, I recommend this ratio of time.  If neither Disney nor cruises are your thing, well what do you want me to do about it? 

Feel even more sorry for The Wife

You should understand that with me and my almost 8 year-old son Ben, that The Wife has to deal with two 8-12 year-old boys at home every day (at least on an emotional/intellectual level).  Ben has become interested in a lot of stuff that I like, too.  He started out with sports, especially football and baseball.  Then he added Star Wars/action movies, video games and junk food.   A month or two ago, he and I went out to see the X-Men: Wolverine movie, picked up two cheesesteaks on our way home, and sat down and watched baseball. It was all I could do to refrain from offering him a beer.   A lot of days, the only difference between us is that I'm taller.  I am incredibly happy about how this has worked out so far. 

Thankfully

Heard many times so far:  "You know we can't ship to Pennsylvania."

Heard just once:  "You know why I pulled you over?"

Not the most stunning bit of fortune telling, but still accurate.

My comments from March 4, 2009, on a post containing a Jon + Kate blind item:

Coming to TLC this Fall, "J&K+8 II: Visitation Rights"

Jon: Kate, I'm just dropping off the boys after my court appointed Wednseday night visitation. I'll be back for Maddie and Cara tomorrow.

Kate: What are you doing? You are supposed to have them here by 8:30 am. It's 8:34 am. We are going to be late for our JC Penney photo shoot, and I'm making pasta fagoli with Rachael Ray after that. Honestly, you have no regard for the kids.

Jon: Well, it's hard to get three 5 year old boys moving in the same direction.

Joel: I was playing on the fireman's pole in Daddy's new house.

Kate: What it this? There is stain on Aaden's shirt. Here, take this magnifying glass and look right here. The whole outfit is ruined. I told you not to let the kids go near any dirt, grass, pens, paint, or messy food. Honestly, Jon, you never listen to me.

Jon: Boys, this is why Daddy started chasing 20 year olds before he lost the rest of his hair.

Collin: Weekend Mommy let us have soda.

Gold, I'm telling ya! (And yes, I have been sitting on this Jon and Kate fantasy for years.)

Again, not very prescient or anything.  How much self respect does it take to not do what they are doing on TV?  It shouldn't take much, but even then, I guess they fall short.  They both share equally in the blame for this, too.  I heard from The Wife (I was out running) that Jon said he was late for taping because he wasn't sure he wanted to do the interview.  You know what?  Don't do the freaking interview!  Being a victim is easy.  He needs to put in some effort at some point.  This seems like a good place to start. 

BTW, I did not find the divorce complaint in a quick search of local county websites.  They live in Berks County, which would be a natural spot to file.  But I saw a report that said thye filed in Bucks County.  I'm supposing that was a typo, not just suburban Philly forum shopping. 

It turns out that Falcon Crest didn't really portray the area accurately

Yum and I are out in Napa this week.  So far, I have found it to be almost, but not entirely, unlike Scotland.

Pictures of wine bottles likely to follow.

Happy happy happy anniver-shut it!

On this day in history:

• 455  - the Vandals complete their sack of Rome
• 1487 - the Wars of the Roses end with the Battle of Stoke
• 1890 - Stan Laurel born
• 1963 - Valentina Tereshkova becomes the first woman in space
• 1991 - I asked Yum out

No doubt she is thinking, "Hey, it could have been worse."

"Stanley Cup Champion Kansas City Penguins" wouldn't have quite the same ring to it

Thank you again, Mario, for putting your heart above your wallet, so that we got to experience not only this:

And this:

 

But this, too:

Star Trek [2009]

Okay, there's a little truth in the Onion article, but overall, pretty cool. [A-]

Along with the tourists

As our nation's capital settles into a long, humid summer, it prepares itself to battle an annual plague:  the interns.

I have to get a teaching job one of these days ...

.....especially if I Dooce myself right here.  Things that they don't do in TV lawyer shows:

-  I have a client who requested a meeting with an opposing party and lawyer.  He says that the meeting needs to be no earlier than 4:00 PM.  When I asked what day, his first response was "Friday."  Now it is damn near communist to suggest a Friday 4:00 PM meeting.  But he insisted, and didn't see anything wrong with that.

-  I had another opposing party send me a letter assusing me of chicanery.  That I can barely tolerate.  If he would have accused me of tomfoolery or shenanigans, I would have blown a gasket.

-  We're aways under pressure to bill more and bring in new business.  One of our clients has a commercialoffice building.  I have handled all of the leasing, all of the messy build out disputes, etc., for the entire building.  I find out that we negotiated a lease for a new tenant in this same building.  One of the senior partners did all of the work, without even mentioning it to me.  He certainly didn't need the hours in his column (and I really, really do).  I guess I should lurk by the front desk and ambush any clients (or calls) that come in, like a salesperson at a furniture store. 

How to pay tribute to fallen heroes? Hard labor.

Three day weekends are made to work or drink (or I suppose give birth).  Guess which one I did?  This may look familiar to some of you.