I have to get a teaching job one of these days ...

.....especially if I Dooce myself right here.  Things that they don't do in TV lawyer shows:

-  I have a client who requested a meeting with an opposing party and lawyer.  He says that the meeting needs to be no earlier than 4:00 PM.  When I asked what day, his first response was "Friday."  Now it is damn near communist to suggest a Friday 4:00 PM meeting.  But he insisted, and didn't see anything wrong with that.

-  I had another opposing party send me a letter assusing me of chicanery.  That I can barely tolerate.  If he would have accused me of tomfoolery or shenanigans, I would have blown a gasket.

-  We're aways under pressure to bill more and bring in new business.  One of our clients has a commercialoffice building.  I have handled all of the leasing, all of the messy build out disputes, etc., for the entire building.  I find out that we negotiated a lease for a new tenant in this same building.  One of the senior partners did all of the work, without even mentioning it to me.  He certainly didn't need the hours in his column (and I really, really do).  I guess I should lurk by the front desk and ambush any clients (or calls) that come in, like a salesperson at a furniture store. 

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[FS]

"Pettifoggery" is the term of art here, I believe.