Sorry folks, park's closed. The moose out front should have told you.

We just did family vacation at Disney.  I know all 5 people who read here have been looking forward to reading 3,000 words worth of poorly edited recap.  On the bright side, since it was a family trip, there will probably be many fewer dick jokes.  [Note – after my first draft, there are nearly 3,000 words, very few jokes.  I am starting to get hazy on the details, and I want to publish this before I leave.  So it might not be up to my normal Rainman writing standards.  You have been warned.  I’ll through some pictures up on Facebook someday.]

The Basics:

Just the four of us – The Wife, Ben, Caroline and your narrator.  The kids are almost 8 and 6, so we figured this would be right in the Disney wheelhouse.  I think we were correct about that.  The kids had a great time.  The adults did, too, but that was mostly because of enjoying the kids.  Without meaning offense to anyone, I think it is important to have some vacation time with just the kids.  We all take vacations with the extended family or friends or whatever.  Believe me, I enjoy them more than most people.  But having just parents and kids sharing a trip was special.  Like anything in life, sometimes you need to see things from different directions to appreciate the difference. 

We did a land and sea package.  Five days in the park, three nights on a boat.  If Disney and cruises are something you might be interested in, and you have the financial wherewithal, I recommend this ratio of time.  If neither Disney nor cruises are your thing, well what do you want me to do about it? 

One other general comment.  The Wife is the detail person in out partnership.  She spent a ton of time researching what to do, when and in what order.  On any big trip, that work is invaluable.  She deserves all of the credit for us having a great vacation.  I truly am awed by her ability to plan, yet be flexible enough to allow the vacation to unfold as the kids need it to.  Just like the rest of our lives, she was the foundation of the trip.

Brief Itinerary:

We woke up at 3:00 am on Saturday June 13.  Just hours after the Penguins won the Stanley Cup.  Flight from Harrisburg at 6:15 am.  Arrive in Orlando Airport at like 11:30 am.  Disney bus to our hotel, the Polynesian.  We were in our first park, Hollywood Studios, at about 1:30 pm.   Just wanted to convey how we squeezed ever little drop out of this vacation.

Sunday was breakfast at Cinderella’s castle in the morning.  We were there before the park opened.  Walking down Main Street with only a handful of other people is cool.  We stayed at Magic Kindgom until 2:00pm or so.  Then we went back to the hotel, swam for a while.  I think we actually made the kids take a nap, too.  We had dinner at the restaurant at the hotel (Ohana).  Then we went back to the Magic Kingdom until 11:00 pm or so.

Monday was Animal Kingdom.  I think we had a more normal morning start time, like 9:00 am.  We stayed there until a thunderstorm made it seem like a good idea to leave, probably like 5:00 pm.  From there, we went to Downtown Disney to eat and shop, and another 11:00 night. 

Tuesday was sort of a toss up.  We had dinner reservations at EPCOT.  But nothing else much planned.  So we went back to Animal Kingdom in the morning, for the explicit and sole purposes of re-riding Expedition Everest and the Safari.  After we knocked those out, we came back to the hotel to swim a bit.  We went to EPCOT at like 3:00 or 4:00 PM.  Had dinner in England, did a ride or two.  Then another big thunderstorm was approaching.  We ducked into a building in the “attraction” part of the park.  We waited out the rain for a couple of hours by doing everything in that building, which ranged from great (Soaring) to not great (some tree hugger movie with Timon and Pumbaa).  When the rain let up, it was 7:00 pm.  It was the end of regular park hours.  Since we were staying at a Disney hotel, we had extra magic hours until like 11:00 pm. So the front of the park was pretty empty.  We walked onto just about anything we wanted.  Stayed until 11:00. 

Wednesday we spent at the Magic Kingdom.  We made sure to hit the light show and fireworks.  Probably left the park after midnight.  Made sure we saw all of the shows or rides we missed, or hit them for a second or third time. 

Thursday morning, they picked up our bags at 8:00 am.  We were on the bus at 11:00 to Port Cavnaveral, and on the ship at 1:00 pm.  We swam for a while, checked out the boat, and then had dinner.  After dinner was a stage show.  It was after 10:00 pm before bed.

By Friday, we were ready for some quiet.  Even though the ship was docked in Nassau, we stayed on the boat.  After breakfast, we checked the kids into the kids club.  They were allover the boat doing activities with other kids, which they loved.  The Wife and I went to the adults-only pool and laid around, read and drank from 10:00 until say 4:00 pm.  We picked the kids up for dinner.  After dinner, they wanted to go back to the kids club.  At 9:00 or so, there was a big party on deck (“Pirates IN the Caribbean”).  There were like 2,500 people on the boat.  Every one of them was on deck for the show.  There was singing and dancing and characters and fireworks and everything.  Kids loved it.  Afterwards, at 11:30, they had a big dessert buffet.  We all had dessert, because, why not?  Another late night.

Saturday was a day at Disney’s island, Castaway Cay.  We spent some time all together, and the kids went off to the kids club for a couple of hours.  After dinner on the ship, the kids wanted to go back to the kids club for an hour or so, which gave us some time to pack.  We spent a little time all together on deck and then got to bed at a reasonable hour, like before 11:00.

Sunday we had to get off the boat by 8:30 am.  Our flight left at 1:30 pm.  Ended up killing like 5 hours in Orlando airport.  This was easier than it normally would have been, because we all needed some quite time with just the four of us.  Made it home at about 7:00 pm.  Off to work the next day. 

Some particulars:

Disney treats you pretty well (for a price, of course).  We paid for ground transportation.  So we checked our bags in Harrisburg.  The next time we saw them was in our hotel room.  To get to the cruise, we packed the night before.  They picked the bags up in our room that morning.  They delivered our bags to our room.  The last night, we packed our bags and put them outside.  The next time we saw them was getting off the plane in Harrisburg.  Not taking your bags and kids through customs is a pretty nice way to travel.

Disney makes it easy to spend money.  They gave us a room key at check-in.  It served as our key, our admissions ticket to the parks, our ability to get fast passes for the rides, our credit card inside the park, a credit card at Downtown Disney, our entrance onto the ship, our stateroom key, our credit card on the boat and our credit card on the Disney island.  This made it easy to spend money.  For example, water was $2.50 a bottle in the parks.  We probably had 30 $5 charges at the end of the week.  This also made it much more upsetting when some dumbass lost their key card on the boat the first night. 

The Wife made at least one meal reservation each day.  This was genius.  First, it gave us a starting point for the day.  Most importantly, we had a lunch or dinner where we could get out of the heat, sit down at a table, have a waiter bring stuff to us.  It was a period to slow down, get out of the noise, and relax a bit.  Plus, the food at these places was better than it should have been.  It wasn’t Bouchon, but it was a lot better than normal amusement park stuff.  We had lettuce cups and dim sum at Yak and Yeti in Animal Kingdom, real black and tans and fish and chips in England at EPCOT, a nice lunch buffet at the Crystal Palace in the Magic Kingdom.  Even character breakfasts (Cinderella’s and Chef Mickey’s at the Contemporary) were decent.  I cannot say enough about her forethought here.

The Polynesian was awfully convenient.  It was 95 degrees each day.  Two (or maybe three) times, we came back to the hotel to swim in the middle of the day.  This got the kids out of the heat, and allowed them to stay at the parks later, when it was cooler and the crowds were lighter.  One of my favorite things is being at an amusement park at night, with all the lights.  It is a completely different atmosphere.  Anyway, the monorail stops at the Polynesian.  So it was easy (or at least easier, depending where you were at) to just pop back to the hotel.  As for the hotel itself, it was good.  Not amazing, but nice.  It shows its age just a bit, but the whole pacific theme was kitschy fun.  There was one nice restaurant, another café and a third grill/snack bar/cafeteria.  We used all three. 

I wondered if the kids, especially Ben, were getting too old for characters.  I had nothing to worry about.  They loved meeting the characters.  It was probably more fun for them now than it was two years ago.  Maybe it’s because then they were more mystical, but now they are just fun, goofy mascots.  Whatever the case, both kids loved seeing the characters.  They jumped up at every character meal (we had three), loved seeing them just walking around or performing on the boat. 

The kids club on the boat was great.  Before you even get on the ship, they give the kids wristbands and the parents a pager.  The kids have a schedule, like a TV guide.  You can drop them off or pick them up anytime, or they can page you when they want you.  When we saw the 5-7 year-old area for the first time, I was a little worried.  It was pretty young, especially for a moose of a boy like Ben.  I shouldn’t have worried.  They spent maybe ¼ of their time in that area.  The Friday we dropped them off, the kids went to one part of the boat to learn how to draw the Disney characters.  Then they marched to another part of the boat for cooking lesions and made cookies.  Then they had a Toy Story plastic soldiers boot camp.  After dinner one night, they played dodgeball on the top deck outside, and did pirate dances.  On the island, they had a big treasure hut and beach party.  It seemed well organized, in that they did things for half an hour to an hour at a time, and made them things that the kids were interested in.  There wasn’t much free, undirected play time.  I think this is key at this age. 

The kids are very into rides.  Which is cool, because The Wife and I like rides, too.  We just need the girl to grow a little bit so she can get on roller coasters.  Space Mountain is closed for major renovations.  The moose out front should have told you.  But we did nearly everything else.  Some highlights:

Hollywood Studios – we started here because it was Star Wars weekend.  It is cool to see random Star Wars characters just roaming around, posing for pictures.  We rode Tower of Terror.  Ben was a little scared, mostly for the whole theme, pre-story that they do.  The Wife and Caroline loved it.  I thought is was a good ride, but probably not as much as the ladies.  When we got there, someone gave us 4 fast passes for the Toy Story ride.  Good thing, because they were out of them by the time we got there.  That was a cute ride.

Animal Kingdom – people told us that this was their least favorite park.  I think that, for the size and expectations, this may have been our favorite.  Expedition Everest is a very good coaster.  You end up going backwards in total darkness.  There was something going on during that period that neither the Wife nor I could quite figure out.  Which is often the case when you are going backwards in the total dark.  The safari was outstanding.  The animals were very and pretty close to the trucks.  We have been going to the Philly Zoo for years.  Even with a very good zoo, the animals in Philly all look like they are in captivity.  The ones at Animal Kingdom did not.  We went on the river rapids ride and got drowned.  This one is unique in that it has a big assed drop, just like a regular roller coaster.  At the end of the drop is total liquid destruction.  The Dinosaur ride scared Ben.  Yak and Yeti was a neat little restaurant.  It was like an EPCOT restaurant – just a little authentic, so that middle America isn’t too shocked, but more adventurous people are a little pleasantly surprised.

EPCOT – We hit three good rides.  Soaring is a hang glider simulation.  Mission Space was a pretty intense rocket simulation.  We went on the growed up version, where it pulled gees when you blasted off. We were a little worried.  They warned you at least 20 times that you shouldn’t go on the ride if you have motion sickness, affected by spinning, or were basically a little pussy.  There were actual airsick bags in the simulator.  There were two times it was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t Spies Like Us bad.  The kids loved it.  We also rode Test Track.  They strap you into a American car and make you read bankruptcy rules.  And they take you through a bunch of tests.  The ride gets you up to 70 MPH on a banked test track, which completely kicks ass.

Magic Kingdom – We saw and did everything here.  Multiple rides on Big Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain, including rides in the dark.  Rode out some thunderstorms in Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion.  We are pretty good about getting under cover before the rain starts.  Your hero maxed out the score on the Buzz Lightyear shooting game/ride, but has yet to collect on the bet we made.  We made a point of getting the kids a decent spot to watch the light parade and fireworks.  I think that they really enjoyed both. 

Boat – There are three formal restaurants on the ship.  They rotate all of the guests through all three.  But your wait staff goes with you.  Really, the best thing about any cruise is how people take care of you, especially at dinner.  Our folks memorized our names before we arrived, so whenever we saw them at other places on the boat, they always said hello.  Our assistant server was this cute girl from Spain named Elsa.  I mean cute like we wanted to fold her up and put her in our pocket cute.  The Wife and I agreed that she should be the Spanish Snow White.  And the way that she said “Caroline” and “Ben ha meen” was juuusst adorable.  Caroline just loved her.  Ben, who is a moose, thought it was cool to try everything that either of us ordered.  He loved my mozzarella and roasted zucchini salad, the Wife’s cheese tart, my wild mushroom risotto and the escargot I ordered for table bragging rights.  The only thing that he didn’t like was the squash soup.  One evening the waiter, Komang, asked him if he wanted another chicken strip, and Ben said yes.  Komang brought an entire second dinner, which Ben thought was the greatest thing ever. 

So we got in a lot of family and amusement parks, and a little bit of couple's time.  Sure, The Wife and I would have liked to spend more time together.  But I hope that this is a trip that the kids will always remember.  Because I know that I will. 

Comments

[FS]

but it wasn’t Spies Like Us bad

And your wife says that I'm stuck in the 80s.

[merseydotes]

That's great. We went to Disney last year and this year and will probably go once a year for the foreseeable future because my sister and her family live in Orlando. But this year we stayed at a resort (Wilderness Lodge) half the time, and - even though it wasn't on the monorail - it was SO worth it. (btw, If you are going back, check that one out. It's built to look like a giant log cabin and has a really fun restaurant for kids as well as a nice one for adults.) We do the "one sit-down meal reservation" a day thing too, and it is a nice break. I keep waiting for the day when Petunia is not afraid of roller coasters. We got her on Big Thunder and Tower of Terror last year, but this year she wanted no part of either. Did you see the shows? Jedi Training Academy was the highlight of her young life, and she could watch the show in front of the castle (Dream Along with Mickey) endless times. Next time you go, try the Biergarten in Germany in Epcot. It is our favorite restaurant - Basil and I drink huge steins of Oktoberfest in the air conditioning, we all clean our plates and Petunia dances to the oom-pah-pah band.

[Yum]

I does sound awesomely fun, despite the fact that I'm neither a disney nor a cruise person. Glad you and the kids had such a good time!

[buzz]

First, we were sitting in a flight simulator that went in circles to simulate gravitational forces of a rocket taking off. "Spies Like Us" is the most appropriate comparison, decade be damned.

We saw lots of shows. The Beauty and the Beast show in Hollywood Studios (?) may have been the favorite. At Magic Kingdom, we sat outside the castle to have Belle tell a story. It was just a little patio, very intimate. The drawback was that it was like 3:00 PM, and all of the benches, walls and floor were concrete. After sitting in the 95 degree heat all day, the benches were difficult to sit on, and the whole area was very reminiscent of a pizza oven.

We considered the Biergarten. I think we passed either because we didn't think the kids would like it, or because The Wife didn't think she'd get me out. Cannot remember which. Actually, I'd rather drink Bass and Guiness than German beer (although neither are refused).